Wes Ritual
The Wes Ritual is a special summoning method of Wes Weasley. One may summon him in two ways: - The Wes Bless: This grants anyone who successfully pulls the ritual off a 20 minute free trial period of good fortune. -The Wes Curse: Anyone who messes up the ritual will be permanently cursed by Wes unless they perform the repellent ritual which only works 25% of the time. It is important to know the proper ritual order to avoid an accidental curse. Here at the Wes wiki, we think we know what we're doing because we watched a YouTube tutorial on all this and they always work! The Blessing Step 1: The ritual can only be pulled off on Hanukkah. It must also be done on the 7th day at 5:30 pm, because 6 is past my bedtime. This is the test of timing and patience. You must wait for the right time. Step 2: You must place one candle in the middle and two on the very ends of the Menorah. This represents the W shape in Wes's name. Be sure to light the middle candle last. This is the test of respect. Wes needs all of your respect. Step 3: While holding the Menorah, walk into the bathroom. Make sure it is a 4 piece bathroom, Wes hates 3 piece and below. Spin around 7 times and look into the mirror. Pull out your mobile phone and play the episode "Birth of a salesman" backwards. Afterwards, let all the candles fully burn out if they haven't already. This is the test of dedication. Wes deserves loyal followers. Step 4: This is the most important part. You must invest 10 trillion dollars into bitcoin. This is the test of courage and Wes expects only the bravest to receive his blessing. And that's the ritual. If all instructions were followed, you now have 20 minutes of good fortune, blessed by Wes himself. The Curse If at any point during the ritual you make a mistake, you will be cursed by Wes. The Curse follows a set of behaviors that change the longer you have it. Start: You may begin to have bad luck occasionally, and you will probably be unaware of the curse mostly. After 1 week has passed: You will begin experiencing more bad luck, and occasionally will spot Wes out of the corner of your eye, only for him to not be there when you turn around. No one else will be able to see Wes. After 4 more weeks: Your vision will start to corrupt with Wes. Wes now appears from the corner of your eye much more often. Sometimes he will be armed with his signature "Bad luck emitter." You'll also see him in various forms of media that you swear he was never in before. Even though you spot him more frequently, he'll still vanish when you try to fully look at him. After 20 weeks have fully passed: Wes will no longer appear from the corner of your eye. You will now find money going missing much more often and flaming bags of coin rolls at your doorstep occasionally. After a month has passed: All affects of the curse will end, in exchange for WES IN REAL. He will turn into Sans and give you a bad time if you encounter him. Wes in real can appear anywhere at anytime. No one else but you can see him. He will solely target you as well, unless one of your friends is homosexual, in which he will destroy them first. The repellent ritual The only way to end a Wes Curse is to defeat Wes, but this is impossible by any human means. Therefore, your only natural defense is the repellent ritual. Despite this, the repellent ritual only has a 25% chance of succeeding in ending the curse. To perform the repellent ritual, do the following: Step 1: Donate to charity Step 2: Print out a .jpg image of Dr. Ivo robotnik. The image must be from Adventures of sonic the hedgehog, otherwise it won't work. Step 3: Crack a raw egg on the image Step 4: Burn the image with the egg still on. This ritual summons Robotnik, who will prioritize Wes. There is a 75% chance Robotnik and Wes will team up on you though, which will put you in even greater danger. Trivia * Performing the repellent ritual with no Wes curse will cause robotnik to attack you instead * If you have already beaten the game "Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine" on hardest, you cannot be cursed ** This does not apply to the repellent ritual however * Wes is epic